Today you’ll mostly be talking about a) Adele’s triumphant win at the Grammys. Didn’t she do well, eh? Isn’t she a nice lady? So down-to-earth etc. And didn’t that doctor do a great job on those pol-, pol- – what do you call them? Oh, polyps on her throat.
We’ve just looked up what a polyp is: it’s an abnormal growth of tissue proj
ecting from a mucous membrane. Eww. This hasn’t made us feel good.
So moving on: b) Katy Perry’s hair. She’s obviously taken her commitment to that Smurf voiceover way too seriously.
Also on the agenda is of course c) Whitney Houston. What to say? Maybe you’ll be playing ‘Saving All My Love For You’ and perchance remarking at the jump in price for her back catalogue on iTunes, so please excuse us if we’re feeling a bit blue today.
What’s more, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
Yay.
Please let us know if someone gets a bunch of flowers delivered to their desk so we can come round and vom in their waste paper basket. There’s always one, isn’t there?! Lording it round like they are the cat that’s got the milk. There’s some kind of analogy in there if you look hard enough.
Honestly, this annual ‘smoochathon’ doesn’t get any better, does it? A Clinton’s card if you’re lucky, a cute teddy which says ‘I Wuv You’ if you’re even luckier. Can someone please have a word?
And if you’re not in a relationship, you get another couple of hours to count the four walls at home, so you stumble out only to be met with across-the-board loved-up smugness when you venture into a Zizzi for a pasta putanesca – and no doubt at a Valentine’s price too. Bloody cheek.
So we’re going to stay home and eat that M&S Valentine’s dinner deal and quaff their pink fizzy wine under the duvet. Ha-ha-ha. That will teach everyone!!
