The Best Devin Banks Quotes | 30 Rock

It’s always a joy to spot Will Arnett’s name on upcoming episode of 30 Rock because it means Jack Donaghy’s arch-nemesis Devin Banks (yes it’s spelt with an ‘I’ we checked) is back to wreak havoc.

Here’s some of the great Devin Banks quotes so far. May Tina Fey continue to write him many, many more.

Jack: Devon, what can I do for you?
Devin: I think we’re way past that Jack. Let’s be honest with each other. I’ll go first. I’m gay and I want your job.
- – -Devin Banks - 30 Rock

Devin: If there’s one thing I learned from you, Jack… it’s keep your friends close. And your enemies so close… that you’re almost kissing.
- – -

Jack: This is G.E.!
Devin: It’s just G now, Jack, I sold the E. To Samsung. They’re Samesung now.
- – -

Devin: I’ve given up trying to beat you in the boardroom. But there are still things I can make you do.
Jack: Alright. You can watch me shower, but no touching.
Devin: No touching just makes it hotter.
- – -

Jonathan: Sir? A Mr. Adouche is on the phone? I.M. Adouche?
Jack: I.M. Adouche? (laughs) Banks! What do you want?
Devin: Did you say it?
Jack: No. I knew right away.
- – -

(to Jack) There is no meeting today. See I convinced the board to have an emergency meeting last night. I tried to call you, but not on the phone, so you may not have heard me.
- – -

“If this Liz Lemon project loses one penny, I am going to publicly flog you like… well, like me at the Provincetown Flogging Festival.”
- – -

“I had the best education in the world. Private kindergarten, where I got straight check marks. Experimental boarding school in Carmel where the students teach the teachers and the teachers teach animals. A year abroad on an all-male catamaran. Then, on to Northwestern, where I majored in Confidence. I had every educational advantage, Jack. Just like my children will.”
- – -

Devin: You know… Revenge is a dish best served cold, Jack. Like sashimi. Or pizza.
Jack: You prefer cold pizza?
Devin: The morning after? It’s the best.
Jack: Better than hot pizza? That’s insane.
Devin: You don’t tell me what kind of pizza to like!
- – -

“After the election, I could have had any ambassadorship I wanted. Even to the world’s gayest country. Ireland.”
- – -

Jack Donaghy and Devin Banks - 30 RockDevin: Jack Donaghy taking welfare? It would kill you.
Jack: But with so many jobs at stake…
Devin: You’d have to take it. I’d make you. I’d make you take it all.
Jack: And I’d roll over and let you give it to me.
Devin: I’m honestly not trying to make this sound gay.
- – -

Jack: Banks. What’s become of you?
Devin: Nothing. These aren’t babies. They’re organ farms.
Jack: (laughs) Devin. Explain the “gaybies”.
Devin: I’m a house-husband now. Happy? I married a shiny black dancer named Cashmere. We mixed our sperm together so no one would know whose baby is whose.
- – -

Jack: I will not gay set you up again. So, I’ll be very clear. You’ll be under me, and if there’s one slip-up, your ass is mine. Damn it.
Devin: (sighs) You couldn’t resist coming to see how far I’d fallen. But that was your mistake. Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Jack: No. You are the spider. I am the sun. I dry up all the rain.
Devin: Yes. Freeing me, the spider, to climb up the spout again.
Jack: You bastard.
Devin: Now. Who wants some “num-nums”?
- – -

Jack: This is a new low. Even for you, Banks. Using your own

baby to get in with Hooper?
Devin: I brought the sexiest one, too. His cheekbones are like granite. And old Hank, the family man, fell right into my trap. (laughs) This isn’t even baby vomit on my jacket. It’s mine. All mine.

Watch brand new 30 Rock Season 6 Fridays at 10.30pm only on Comedy Central UK.

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