5 mins with…Rufus Hound

Rufus Hound’s debut stand up DVD ‘Being Rude’ was released earlier this month by Comedy Central just in time for Christmas. Fancy that!

We chat to Rufus about what it was like to play London’s 100 Club, some surprise reactions to his stand up, when Fearne Cotton will reach her limit with Keith Lemon and mention absolutely nothing about his moustache…except for just then.

It’s nearly Christmas! What would you most like to find in your stocking?
A catapault, a bag of raccoon shit and James Murdoch’s home address.

How cool was it filming ‘Being Rude’ at the 100 Club?
Some venues are just stages and lights, whereas in others, a sense of history oozes from the walls. And there are no walls oozier than at the 100 Club. The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Rolling Stones, Oasis… they’ve all wondered what that smell is, same as I have.

Would you ever venture into bigger venues for stand up or do you like ‘doing it intimately’?
If you can make an arena full of people laugh, you are amazing. Full stop. It’s an incredible skill. It means you found a way to bring people together and have them revel in your talent en masse. My problem is that I would never want to go to an arena to watch comedy. It’d be like going scuba diving in a bog – possible, but just not right.

Sum up ‘Being Rude’ in one rude sentence.
Famous moustache guards mouth from which mainly filth is bellowed.

What’s the rudest thing you’ve ever said/done to someone?
Dude, we have literally only just met. If you think I’m going to tell you the rudest thing I’ve ever done to someone, without you buying me A LOT more to drink, you are sadly mistaken.

Was there anything too rude you decided not to include in your stand up?
No, but there were jokes that got laughs that were dishonest, so they had to go. I think maybe the rudest joke is on one of the DVD extras, about three nurses and what they had found in their female patients. It’s disgraceful.

The point of it being called ‘Being Rude’ though, is not only that it’s ‘blue’, but that I’m saying some things that I know people will be offended by. That it’s the opposite of being polite, of seeking not to offend. On some level, manners are about controlling how angry you are. I wanted to dispense with that.

What’s been the funniest/most surprising reaction you’ve had to your stand up?
I’ve had a lot of men come up to me after shows and tell me their girlfriends have promised them a blow job when they get home. Anytime that happens, I feel like I’ve made an important difference to the world.

What was scarier – doing your first proper stand up gig or doing ‘Famous & Fearless’?
During my first ever gig, my right leg shook so much I thought I might be haunted by Elvis. Famous and Fearless was a breeze by comparison.

Stand-up-wise what’s next for ‘The Ruthless Hound’?
I wish I knew. I’ve got a ton of irons in the fire, so we’ll have to wait and see what I have time for.

How long will it be until Fearne finally flips and gives Keith Lemon a right twatting?
If by ‘a right twatting’ you mean she punches him, then not long. If you mean something else… that’s never going to happen.

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
I can never remember, but I get de ja vu all the time and it kind of freaks me out. I’m watching Fringe on DVD at the moment, so anything like that I now attribute to the suppressed memories of governmental or corporate conspiracy.

Would you rather be invisible or a woman for a day?
The shit you could pull if you were invisible totally out-weighs spending your day dildo-ing, which is all any man would do if they were a woman for a day. For a start, I’d take a big piss on George Osborne, though as a former member of The Bullingdon Club, I’m pretty sure it’d bring back nothing but fond memories.

What’s your favourite crap movie?
Howard the Duck will always have a warm place in my heart.

Howard!

Finish the sentence: ‘The best thing about doing stand up is…’
…not having to find a real job.

Rufus Hound ‘Being Rude’ is OUT NOW on DVD and includes a feature length interview plus a hilarious audio commentary from his Celebrity Juice pals Keith Lemon and Fearne Cotton!